Two Coaches

Baseball was big in my family when I was growing up.  As legend has it, my Papaw had a shot at playing for the Cincinnati Reds but was prevented from his chance at the pro's because he was the only one in the family who could carry the keg of beer from the basement of the family bar and bring it upstairs to tap it behind the counter.  

Both my brothers were talented at the sport, especially my oldest brother who was a natural and had a passion for the game.  Either he viewed baseball as something he was passionate about or something to get him into a college scholarship after high school, either way he was good at what he did on the diamond.  

If my oldest brother was passionate about baseball our father was a fanatic.  Dad spent hours upon hours researching methods and techniques to improve our ability to hit, field, and throw the baseball.  I can remember pulling pieces of rubber tubbing with a baseball attached at the end to develop arm strength.  I can remember throwing a dish towel into a mirror while standing on a 2X4 to improve my balance and delivery, and I will never forget the infamous Ken Griffey Jr. "Instruct-O-Swing" contraption we would hit baseballs off of and into a backdropped net my father had built for us to be able to practice in the off season inside our family garage.    

I have happy memories from my childhood involving the game of baseball and my family and I have nightmares involving the game that I have tried to erase from my memory for most of my adult years.  

One of those nightmares happened when I was just a young boy, maybe 7 years old or so.  It was the first year the kids were allowed to pitch during games and not have to rely on the coaches to lob the baseball directly over home plate so we could hit rockets into the outfield.  It was an indoor practice our team was having in a local gymnasium.  I was on the pitchers mound and I was struggling to throw a strike, in fact I had hit 6 kids who were just trying to take batting practice.  My father stood behind the backstop and made hand gestures and arm movements and tried to quietly mouth instructions to me as he watched the nervousness get the better of his seven year old son.  He looked like a wild character, standing back there, obviously frustrated but still loving and only wanting his young boy to succeed.  My coach stood off to the side of the "field", he was a drunk with a thick mustache and was married to a woman that coached a team we considered to be our rival.  I can remember my coach turning his head from watching my father give instructions to watching me hit his players in their rib cage.  

After awhile the coach called timeout and asked my father to join him out on the mound.  I stood there as the coach began to express how he thought my father was being a distraction to me and then watched as my father disagreed and said he was helping me.  This continued for a few minutes as I stood there, my seven year old self turning and twisting my head to the left and then to the right as I followed the conversation, bewildered and confused as to what was actually taking place.  All I knew was I had a few teammates crying because I'd hit them and maybe cracked a few ribs and now two adults had stopped practice to come and talk about something on the pitchers mound.   

Everything sounded like noise to me until suddenly I heard my name.

"Anthony!  Son, who do you want to listen to?  Who do you want to coach you?"  The words left the mouth of my alcoholic coach and snapped me back to reality.

Immediately I felt alone, helpless, confused, scared, worried, terrified, and any other words you can think of.  I would have pissed my pants had there been enough water in my system.  I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do.  There my father and my coach stood, towering over me, both men looking down into my eyes and waiting for the answer of a seven year old to determine who would win their argument and ultimately who would walk away with their head held high and their chest puffed out.  I thought this was why God created women, to settle arguments between men and determine who was more manly.  Well, for whatever reason I was the one in charge of making that decision now.  After what felt like an eternity and after what seemed like a thousand voices screaming the question into my ears I finally answered.  

My father immediately had a look of total defeat on his face.  I think I saw tears welling up in his eyes as he dropped his head down and walked back to the sidelines.  My coach, with a drunk smile on his face knelt down, placed his hand on my shoulder and began to give me instructions.  All I could do was watch my father walk away, obviously saddened and disappointed.  Suddenly this wave of emotion swept over my body as I felt responsible for his defeat.  I had given him over to the enemy, betrayed my dad to a drunk little league coach with a mustache.  

The entire drive home on the dark backroads of Kentucky I sat in the front seat with my baseball glove in my lap and told my dad I was sorry, I told him I didn't mean it, I wanted to pick him but I didn't know what to do.  I don't remember him saying much that night or even looking at me.  I just remember seeing the glow of the dashboard lights in his face as he squeezed the steering wheel and drove us home.  

Today I am 28 years old and find myself in a similar position at times in life.  Frequently choosing between two people, choosing between two things, having to make the decision on who I want to coach me.   

Most of the time these decisions are choosing between God and sin.  What voice do I want to listen to in the moment?  Do I want to listen to God or do I want to follow sin for awhile to see what happens?  When God says, "She's not your wife" will I still choose to follow her for awhile anyways?  The answer to that is yes.  And just like when I was seven, I frequently make the wrong decision of who I want to coach me.   

Thankfully, God doesn't walk away with His head tilted down to the ground looking defeated.  God gracefully and loving encourages me and brings me back home and back into His arms.  

Angels and demons

I have always been interested in supernatural events and activities ever since I was a little guy.  Growing up during the revival of the 1990's and the outpouring that happened in my church in Kentucky gave me a desire for the things of God and my encounters with angels when I was younger have kept me hungry for more of those experiences.  

Along those same lines I have had experiences with demons before and left   the experiences with some questions in my mind.  I think all of us at some point have had experiences we may or may not admit to that have left us questioning the whole supernatural thing a bit and wondering what some of the truths are behind our experiences.

I didn't really have many references from the bible about the works of angels and demons until I sat across from a woman one evening who was possessed and read bible passages to her as she tried to manifest what was inside her.

I think most of us have this curiosity and maybe have had experiences that we couldn't understand or didn't want to understand.  Either way, here are some things I have been thinking about lately.

I have always wondered at and marveled at the the story of Jesus in the grave yard with the guy that was possessed by a bunch of demons.  Mark chapter 5 talks about the story of the man in the tombs and how he was bound with shackles and chains but he would break them and nothing could keep him bound.  When I read this story in the Amplified version it says that the shackles were weak and the chains were broken by his constant rubbing them and pounding on them with rocks.  What's the point?  I have read this plenty of times before and wondered at the strength of the demons inside the man to break those chains.  But when I read it in the amplified it tells me that he was only able to break those chains and shackles by using natural or physical means.  The shackles were already weak and the chains he had to work to break, it was not some superhuman, supernatural power that enabled the man to break free!  Though he was possessed by a legion of demons he was still bound to normal and natural rules of law.

Then we read in Acts chapter 12 about an encounter with the supernatural and the working of angels.  Peter had been arrested and was heavily guarded in prison.  It says that "he was chained between two guards and that sentries stood guard at the entrance.  In other words...Peter was BOUND!  He had two chains holding him to two guards along with sentries standing at the entrance to his jail cell.  What happens next?  And angel of the Lord shows up, smacks peter to wake him up and then the chains fall off of peters wrists and the jail cell door opens and peter walks right out of jail.  

So what's the point?  demons will try anything they can to instill fear and torment into the lives of believers but they are still bound within the confines of the natural world.  The chains did not fall off the possessed man but he had to work to break them off  by using rocks to smash them.  With peter the chains simply fell off his wrists and he walked out of jail.  Angels are given a higher degree of power, they are not limited to the natural order of things.  In other words, if God sends an angel to set Peter free, Peter is getting free. 

The simple point in this entire story is to understand that we serve a God that is not bound by natural limitations but that He is limitless and boundless in His love and compassion.  

So let fear and worry and doubt fall off of your life like the chains that held Peter to his captors.  Let love, peace, and hope come on you like a warm blanket.  And finally understand that there is a God that loves you.  He is not fighting for you because He already won the war. 

   

  

Solution to striving.

Tonight, November 13th, I got in my car to drive out and get a coffee because I was bored sitting at my house.  As I got in the car I started thinking about what has been going on in my life lately. Then I heard God say to me "clarity does not come in striving, clarity comes in peace."

There have been so many negative things happening all around me over the last few days.  Stress of traveling half way across the country for the Holidays and all that goes along with it.  Friends who are facing unthinkable devastation in their family.  My church back home facing difficulties to the worst degree.  My family members experiencing sickness and fear.  Church members facing sickness to the verge of death.  And all of that on top of typical stress with life.  I have been quietly wondering what I am supposed to do, what can I do to change things in my life and to help all these people around me.  It has been impossible to focus on one issue because there are so many different things weighing on my mind.

I have begun to shut down to it all.  Too tired to seriously think about it and even more tired to do anything about it.  The thought of facing these issues has left me telling myself to just sit back and watch what happens.  Instead of adjusting to overcome the issues I have been doing nothing but waiting to see what is left after the destruction.

Without doing anything I have been striving internally.  It is like warning signals are going off inside and all around me.  When I begin thinking about one issue another area of issues pops up and takes my focus away.  I have been striving like never before.  My thoughts have been clouded and I have not been myself.

It is natural to strive when things go wrong.  Maybe things went wrong because I was not showing enough attention to a specific area.  If I strive to figure things out I can somehow fix it all.

God is showing me that relief and clarity do not come in striving, they come in peace.

Earlier today I was so exhausted from it all that I couldn't get out of my bed.  I needed to get up and go to church to get some things done but I literally could not get out of bed.  I stayed there and thought "God what do I need to be learning right now?"  His response was " Trust Me."
Right then and there I stood up, got dressed, and began saying out loud what I believed about God and my life.  I started saying "I am a son of Abraham and his blessings are mine.  I am blessed in my coming and blessed in my going.  I am blessed in the city and blessed in the field.  My descendants will be as vast as the stars in the skies."  "I am a brother of Jesus and a son to The Father.  He has a plan for my life.  A plan for good and not for evil.  I have been healed and blessed and I am prosperous."  I audibly spoke anything and everything I could think of that told me who I am in Christ Jesus.  I was not thinking about the issues I was dealing with, I was not thinking about solutions to my problems.  I was focusing on who I was in Christ.  I had stopped striving and instead confessed who I was in total peace.

Psalm 34:4,5 says
   4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
   5 They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.

Among other things the hebrew word for "sought" means to "frequently follow".  Following someone can be difficult or easy depending on the trail you are on.  Jesus said in Matthew "My yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Therefore we know that frequently following Him will not be a burden we are unable to handle.

To seek The Lord is not to strive.  To seek The Lord is to remain in peace in His presence and in the understanding and knowledge of who you are in Him.

My plan to succeed during these times of difficulty in my life is to remain in His presence and to remain in His peace.  To remind myself daily who I am in Him and to remind myself of His promises to me.  I never asked God to make the promises to me, I wasn't alive when He made them.  Therefore I do not feel guilty or greedy when I remind Him what He said He would do.  He said He would do all things according to His glory.  He said He would do exceedingly and abundantly beyond all I could ask or think.  I refuse to feel greedy when I expect Him to hold true to His word.

Wherever you are right now, if things in life are falling to pieces, if friends and family members are going through tough times, or if things are great for you, choose to remain in His peace and refuse to strive for the answer to your prayers.