Challenges

I have always been a dreamer.  I have always wanted to experience different places and embark on new adventures.  Movies and books about people doing unordinary things have always captivated me ever since I was little.

As a result of my dreaming I have always had something I've wanted to do, something unordinary.

For example, I've always wanted to walk across the United States.  I've wanted to go sky diving.  I've wanted to join the army, about 8 different times in my life.  I've had countless idea's on new businesses and how to make myself rich.  I attempted to start a non-profit organization with a friend.  There has always been something new and different I have wanted to do with or in my life.  One of the main things which killed my ideas was the doubt of the challenge.  

In the past I thought if the idea or thought was from God and for my life than the task would be relatively simple.  There would not be a great challenge or difficulty in accomplishing what I'd felt I was supposed to or wanted to complete.  When difficulty or the realization of the challenge appeared I simply gave up.  I thought the difficulty was God trying to tell me to stop.  I suppose there could be some truth in that thought process depending on the situation and the circumstances.  But then I realized that anything and everything of any worth in my life would be met with challenge.  In fact I would argue that if it is too easy maybe it is not right. 

Jesus was destined for the cross.  Jesus came to life in order to die.  He showed us how to live and walk out our lives in complete surrender to the will of God, but His main purpose for coming to earth was to die for our salvation, among other things.  Jesus knew this from an early age.  The bible first tells us that Jesus knew of His death when He was talking with the disciples and explaining to them that He would be given up to the enemy.  I'm sure He knew the scriptures and knew the prophetic words about Him, but the first time He speaks about what will happen is in talking with the disciples.  We all know the story of Jesus praying in the garden asking The Father to remove the cup from Him.  In the same story we can read that the challenge for Jesus was so great that He was literally sweating blood.  I have faced some challenges in my 27 years but I have never been so concerned that I sweat blood.

Life is filled with challenges.  Anything we do, that is of worth, is going to have a challenge or two that we will need to handle.  The road we walk to the fulfillment of our destiny is going to have plenty of challenges on it.  You have to face the challenge of shyness and rejection in order to ask out the woman of your dreams.  You have to face the challenges of studying and taking tests in order to graduate so you can win your dream job.  You have to face the challenge of reading all those parenting books and then applying them in your life if you want to be a great mom or dad.  You have to face the challenge of your past if you want to be free for your future.  You have to face the challenge of yourself if you want to move into all that God has for you.  Your story would not be interesting or exciting if it were not filled with challenges.  Challenges are what move us forward in life, they are what help us change into the person we want to become.  

Do not give up when you are presented with a challenge, no matter how hard it may seem.  

Take your challenge before God, pray, read the word, get wisdom on the situation.  Know that the greater the challenge the greater the reward and the greater the life you get to live.  Move yourself forward and into a new chapter of your story by facing your challenges today.

breaking the cycle.

I'm beginning to realize that I'm writing about the same subjects I was writing about last year, or maybe a little later than last year.  Which makes me chuckle and wonder why that is considering this is going to be a post on cycles we repeat in our lives.
Whatever the reason, I'll continue writing because my thoughts are newer now, having been through different experiences since I last wrote about this topic.

I've heard artist's say it's wildly important to keep reinventing yourself.  If a musician released the same album every year I wouldn't keep buying the new record because I would've heard it before.  In the business world I've heard it said it's important to stick with what works and not ruin a good thing.  Don't try to reinvent the wheel as the popular saying goes.

In our lives I believe that both are true depending on who we are and where we find ourselves.  If things aren't working we should reinvent ourselves.  If things are going well than we shouldn't attempt to change what's already working.  That can be rather tricky because I'm not sure if I am the best person to judge if what I'm doing is working or not.  Take for example someone that's an alcoholic.  There is a stage where the alcoholic believes they are fine, they have life and drinking in control.  However, to their friends and family their drinking is out of control and they need to stop and change their behavior.  There really isn't a definitive answer.  Again, both are true, reinventing yourself and not changing anything about your life, it simply depends on where you are at the time in life.

I remember a year or so ago when I first noticed what was wrong with my life, I was trapped in a cycle of dysfunction.  I would start with doing well, I would continually spend time advancing my spiritual well being and I would jump wholeheartedly into spiritual things.  After some time I would become burned out or my schedule would get busy and I would stop making time for my spiritual exercises.  After this stage of the cycle I would begin committing what I thought were "sins".  My "sinning" would turn me away from my spirit and I'd follow this stage for a month or so.  The next stage in the cycle would involve me feeling guilty and upset with myself for falling away from growing spiritually and I would become dejected.  The final stage would be me turning back to my spiritual growth and jumping back into that area of life.  And I would repeat that cycle over and over again.  When I realized what was going on I went for help, I met with my pastor and he began to walk me through the issues in my life and took me to the place where I could become healed enough to break the cycle.  (Thank you Pastor Terry)

The cycles I develop and follow in my life don't necessarily have to be spiritual, although I believe most of the issues in my life center around the health of my spirituality.

Relationships for example.  I could be in a relationship with someone for a set period of time and be perfectly happy and content.  When things get a little too close for comfort I'll back away and end the relationship.  Then I'll spend some time getting over that relationship, I'll begin feeling guilty for running away, than I'll start feeling better about myself and I'll enter a new relationship with someone else.  The cycle continues.

I believe we can take any area of our lives and use this example.  Am I always choosing friends that aren't good influences on my life?  Am I always entering into abusive relationships with the opposite sex?  Do I have a hard time committing and engaging in relationships, work, hobby's, etc.?

It's not an easy task to end the cycle's we've developed in our lives.  Doing so requires we step outside of our comfort zone and change our behavior and, most importantly, we change our thinking.  That's the hardest part, changing our thinking and our feelings.  Our feelings and our thoughts can and will murder us if we don't learn to keep them in check and remind ourselves of what's real.

We find comfort in our cycles especially if we've created our cycles based out of some tragedy in our lives.  We've been hurt in the past so we create a cycle that ensures we won't be hurt again.  That's unfortunate but it gives us a false comfort.  It's false because our cycles do nothing but slowly destroy our lives.

We want true happiness, we want to move forward in life, we strive for any type of goal but we'll never get those things so long as we continue to live scared and remain in our cycles.

How can we break these cycles in our lives?  The first step is to make ourselves aware that our cycles exist.  Reflect on our lives over the years and notice the patterns that develop.  If we're having a hard time with this stage we should reach out to the people in our lives that know us best and ask their opinions and thoughts.  We may not like what they say and that's okay.  We won't like this process but it's necessary if we're going to truly live.
Once we've identified the cycle the next step is to understand why we created the cycle in the first place.  Was it because of a tragedy?  Was it a relationship gone bad?  The death of a loved one?  Was it because of something someone said to us once?  Was it the way we internalized our feelings over a specific situation?  Was it something from our childhood?  Figure out what happened that caused us to create this cycle and deal with the issue.  Get closure with the person if it's available.  We have to forgive the people involved and we have to forgive ourselves.  "It's not my fault".  We have to repeat those words everyday until we believe them.  The final step is identifying the actions, the feelings, and the thoughts that kept us trapped in the cycle and then change them.  We have to do the opposite of what has been comfortable for a time.  It will be challenging and uncomfortable but it's necessary.  If my issue is going out and partying with unhealthy people in the wrong places, then I'll have to spend a few weekends at home watching a movie.  Sure it will suck but it's what's needed to be healed and to move forward in life.

Understand that everyone at some point in their lives have been in the same situation that you find yourself in right now.  You can either fight, break the cycle, and live a wonderful life, or you can choose to remain in your cycle because you're afraid and deal with the unfortunate consequences.

Life isn't easy, it was never promised that it would be easy.  Life is challenging and tragic at times.  However, if we push forward and work through these cycles, life will become beautiful.  Just remember that every great story has great conflict.  Push forward, fight through this, and live a wonderful story.