Peter who loved Jesus.

Today's blog post will be part one of a two part series about Peter's interaction with Jesus during His last days.  You should totally read both parts and then share it with everyone you know because, as is typically the case with my writing, these words will transform people's lives.

Matthew 26:31-35 paints a picture of Jesus having dinner with His disciples.  As they're sitting at the dinner table Jesus tells His crew "Tonight all of you will desert Me..."  Peter speaks up and says to Jesus "Even if everyone else deserts You, I never will."  Jesus replies to Peter and says "The truth is, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times."  And still Peter insists "NO!  Not even if I have to die with you, I will never deny You!"

Matthew 26:69-75 brings us a few hours later into the same evening after Jesus has been arrested and taken before the Pharisee's.  Peter followed behind the guards sneaking his way into the courtyard where they held Jesus captive.  While Peter is standing there he is approached three separate times from three different people about being associated with Jesus.  Verse 69 shows a little girl walking up to Peter and saying "You were one of those with Jesus."  In the face of an overpowering and scary little girl Peter says "I don't know what you're talking about, I don't know the Man."
There are two more times within the evening where Peter is approached by other people who say "you are a follower of Jesus."  and Peter responds with "I don't know the Man, I am not one of His followers."  We all know this story, as the words leave Peter's mouth for the third time the rooster crows, Peter immediately remembers when Jesus told him this would happen and Peter becomes ashamed and sad and runs away.  I like the scene in the movie "The passion of the Christ."  In the movie Peter runs up to John and the two Mary's, grabs Mary the mother of Jesus, and apologizes and tells her he is not worthy to be a part of their family.

I feel I connect with Peter the most out of all Jesus' disciples.  As much as I would like to feel more like John who was known as "The Disciple Whom Jesus Loved"  I feel more intimately connected to Peter's ability to constantly stick his foot in his mouth and say things he didn't mean at the worst possible times.

I believe Peter truly loved Jesus, that's not hard to believe.  Peter spent over 3 years following Jesus around and being a vital part of His ministry.  Peter gave up his life to follow Jesus throughout His ministry.  Jesus wasn't a normal leader either, Jesus was all about love and relationship.  Jesus treated people with more sincerity and love than any other leader had during His time.  It's natural to assume Peter loved Jesus and would've given his life for Him.  However, because we are men influenced and affected by sin, we have the ability to make split-second decisions which do not show who we really are.

Why did Peter deny Jesus?  Peter denied Jesus because in the moment he became afraid.  Think about it, Peter is following behind as Jesus has been arrested, He is being  beaten along the way, and He is dragged before the Pharisee's for judgement.  I am sure it crossed Peter's mind that if he didn't deny Jesus he would be facing the same fate.

Did Peter love Jesus?  Emphatically yes.  However, no matter how strong Peter's love for Jesus was, in the moment of uncertainty Peter denied knowing Jesus for fear he would be rejected and punished just as Jesus was being rejected and punished.  Peter's denial of Jesus was not who Peter really was.  Peter was in love with Jesus.  Peter simply had his moment of weakness where he allowed his fear of what other's would think of him to control his mouth.

This is where I connect with Peter the most.  I've said and done things in the heat of the moment which did not reflect how I deeply felt.  It's very simple really.  I am afraid if people truly get to know me they will reject me.  I cannot help but fear that if someone truly and deeply gets to know me that they won't like what they see.  Because of this reason I attempt to mask who I really am, what I am really thinking, or what I am really feeling.  I don't want people to know me inside and out because I am afraid they would reject me.  At the same time I desperately want to find someone who truly knows me inside and out, someone who knows exactly what I am thinking, feeling, and believing.  I want to know there is someone in the world who really knows me and still chooses to stick around.

As much as I want the people in my life to intimately know me I usually sabotage the relationship before anyone can really know who I am.  I will say or do things to appear that I am someone I am not.  That probably sound worse than I mean it to sound.  It's not that I act like someone completely different than I really am, I just put on a front to try and hide what I'm really thinking or feeling.

This is how I connect with Peter the most.  Peter was completely sold out for Jesus, again we cannot question Peter's loyalty.  Even though Peter had his moment of weakness where he denied knowing Jesus, Peter's denial doesn't show who he really is or what he was really feeling and thinking.  Peter desperately loved Jesus.

Don't judge people based on their immediate reaction in circumstances.  Instead apply grace to their life, see what their reaction is after the fact.  Peter was instantly sorry for his words and actions which showed who Peter really was.