There is a place in the book of Genesis that I read on Saturday morning before I went to work. It says "Go and walk through the land in every direction, for I am giving it to you.” It's found in Genesis 13:17.
To place this verse in context, Abram (He wasn't Abraham yet), was talking to God and God was showing him all the land God was giving to Abram. God told him to "Look as far as you can see in every direction...I'm giving you this land." Then He follows it up with verse 17. "go and walk through the land in every direction, for I am giving it to you."
I'm going to attempt to make this verse fit what I want to say and keep everything aligned in my thoughts on this post, so stick with me.
The way I love people is unique to who I am. I was taught by my parents how to love others when I was a child. More specifically, I was shown by them how to spend quality time together with the ones I hold close. I can remember as a child spending time in the living room watching movies with the whole family at night. We watched a lot of the old Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin films and similar ones from that era. It didn't matter if the family was in a rush that day and arguments happened throughout the course of the afternoon, at night we'd all come together and watch a movie in our little living room. It didn't happen every night but it happened enough for me to value that time spent together. I also remember staying up late with my dad and watching old episodes of The Andy Griffith Show, M.A.S.H., and Coach. A lot of times I'd lay on the couch next to him and watch a show right before I went to bed.
As I got older, without necessarily meaning to, I placed a high value on quality time spent with the ones I love. What is one of the ways I can show you I love you? I can consistently make time for you in my life.
Another way I show I love people is by buying them things. I'm not just talking about superficial things, more like picking up a friends favorite food or beer and bringing it over to them, or buying someone flowers for no reason at all. When I was younger I lived in an apartment with my sister Jennifer. Whenever I'd go to the grocery store I'd pick up a bouquet of flowers and bring them home for her. That was just one of the ways I could show her I loved her. Then there is probably my best way to show someone I love them and that is using my words. I like to write people letters, to have a conversation with them, or to say little positive things I see inside them. Those are some of the ways I love people.
My heart and my emotions are triggered so that when I want someone to know I love them I do one of those things for them. But what happens when someone loves me in a different way than I'm used to? For myself I've realized it's difficult to feel that love they're sharing with me. Because I love people in specific ways that means I like to be loved in those same ways, that's how I connect and feel loved. That makes things challenging because when someone loves me in a different way I don't necessarily feel that they love me.
When I read verse 17 I immediately thought "Explore all the area's of your heart." God created me to love and to be loved. Well, what happens when someone loves me in their own special way but I don't accept that love because that's not what I'm used to or familiar with? I shy away from that love, I devalue that love, I run away from that love. And that's the scariest thing.
Love is essential to life, Love is what makes all this worth it. And not just the type of love I'm used to, not just love with few people, but open love that freely gives and accepts love in all ways, shapes, and forms.
However, love is not always easy. Love can speak against my human nature, at least open love can. I can easily hinder love in my life by constantly placing walls around my heart based on my past experiences and pains. I can hinder love by wondering if it'll be accepted how I'd like to be accepted.
I read a story about a man who was in love with a girl. He'd known her for a little over a week and valentines day had arrived. He wanted to ask this girl to be his valentine and he wanted to do so in an extravagant way. So he made a card that said "will you be my valentine?" Well, he made the card 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide and drove downtown to the advertising agency where she worked to deliver it on valentines day.
To him, this was one of the ways he could show her that he loved her. To her, it was embarrassing and ridiculous, she didn't accept his love. At least not that day, he wound up pursuing her and eventually marrying her.
I'm not specifically targeting this towards romantic relationships, I'm talking about love in all forms with whomever you love. I think I need to explore my heart, all of it. I need to take a walk around and see the dark places where I've placed walls, where I've allowed my past to prevent my heart from feeling loved and accepting love.
I can easily become scared and fearful that I am not loved and that my love will not be accepted. I know that isn't good. I think I need to come to a place where I simply love people extravagantly and not care so much if they'll accept my love or not.
As a final thought, I should realize that not accepting other peoples love towards me, even if I don't understand their way of loving me, will wound them. It will push their
love down.
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