I am not sure of a deeper or more painful wound we can feel than that of pain and wounding inflicted upon our hearts by other human beings. Most people live a relatively regular life. Personally, I have never broken a bone besides a couple of toes. I have never had surgery of any kind, I have never been shot or stabbed, I have never been in a serious fist fight, I've been hit in the face a few times when boxing but never knocked down and kicked in the ribs repeatedly. I have never fallen from a cliff or tumbled down a hill uncontrollably breaking legs and arms along the way. I have never gone thirsty or hungry and despite some financial woes I have always been able to pay my bills. I would suggest most of the pain that we feel in life is at the hands of those closest to our lives and closest to our hearts. I can attest to this personally and unfortunately.
Setbacks in life, pain, hurt, fear, despair, anxiety, depression, wounding, and anything else have all originated and find their source in relationship.
When there is an unfortunate break in relationship of any kind, the pain and the wounding can be almost unbearable. It can feel as though life itself has changed and shifted, goals begin to take new shape, the direction and path we have been moving towards and on can shift and leave us fighting to rediscover who and where we are.
When relationships end or are ending I, personally have a tendency to fight. The hurt and pain I am experiencing sends messages to my head that tells me to fight back and try to wound in the same way I am feeling wounded. We have all been there at one point or another. We build the case against someone, we spend time alone talking to ourselves and thinking about everything we could have said in the last fight and argument we had with the individual in question. Then, one day the opportunity presents itself and we finally get to say all the hurtful and ugly things we have been waiting to say. Immediately, within seconds of those dark words leaving our mouths we begin feeling regret and pain that rivals the original regret and pain we felt from the relationship split.
As I have matured I have begun to learn the hard truth that inflicting pain on the individual who cause me pain is not the answer. Forgiveness, no matter how difficult and no matter how unfair is always the best possible solution. The difficult part about forgiveness is when there are questions your heart is wanting answers to and you do not feel you will ever receive those answers. Despite the pain, ALWAYS align yourself with forgiveness.
Joel 2:25 says "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten..." The locusts are the pain and hurt, the locusts are also the hurtful words we speak from our place of hurt and they are eating and destroying the field of our hearts.
But God is wanting to restore our hearts and to bring healing to our lives no matter the situation or relationship we have been involved in that has brought about our pain and hurt. God will always be on the side of forgiveness, no matter the offender, no matter the situation or the circumstances. There will NEVER be a situation where God will say "You're right, don't forgive them." What makes lives better is when God can not only bring healing and forgiveness to our hearts but also closure.
I will end this post with a question.
Who in your life do you need to forgive? Even if the person was the one inflicting all the pain and you were simply the victim. Who do you need to forgive? I would suggest that you begin praying for that person and asking God to bring healing to their hearts and blessings to their lives. As an old friend once told me, "Anthony, you can't be mad at someone you are praying for. Make sure you are always praying for people in your life."