Acceptance and Validation

Everyone wants to feel accepted in life.  By our family, our friends, our co-workers, etc.  We all want to have a community of people who we know accepts us for who are.  We want to be a part of a group of people where we are free from judgment and ridicule.  Viktor Frankl says there are three things every person needs in their life.
1. To have meaningful goal they are working towards.
2. To take a redemptive perspective from their unavoidable sufferings.
3.  And to be a part of a loving community.

Acceptance, true acceptance is hard to come by.  I can think of maybe a handful of people, let’s say five or six, who have truly accepted me for who I am in my entire lifetime.  Through the years I have tried to earn the acceptance from people in my life, I think everyone does that to a certain extent.  We dress a certain way, we talk a certain way, we listen to specific kinds of music or watch specific T.V. shows and movies in an attempt to fit in and be accepted.

I grew up in church but I was never the type of person to give a loud “Amen” during the sermon or run laps around the sanctuary for no apparent reason.  However, since I’ve moved to Texas I’ve found myself doing that.  Not running laps around the sanctuary, actually I haven’t been running laps around much of anything, but I have been known to give an above normal volumed “amen” or “preach it” during the sermons at my current church.  Is this a desperate cry for acceptance?  I don’t think so.  It’s more about identifying with the culture.  If it is an attempt for acceptance, it’s subconsciously manifesting that way.

So,   It’s not a one-time thing either, it’s constant and true, I always work for acceptance when I’m around people, even people I know and have been friends with.

acceptance has always been a big issue for me, I’ve always tried to fit into a group in my own unique way; I try to be accepted by people around me.

In my relationship with God the same is true, I try to be accepted by Him.  When I feel like I am doing the good spiritual things a Christian is supposed to do, I feel as though God accepts me, He approves of me.  “This is my son, in whom I am well pleased.” If Jesus had made a mistake would God still have been well pleased?

Acceptance is a form of validation.  When I accept you I am validating who you are, at least that’s what I thought.  Because I don’t really know who I am I seek acceptance as a way to make people tell me who I am.  If someone validates what I wear I will be more likely to wear those clothes.  If someone validates a blog I wrote I would be likely to write more blogs.  Identity is often mistakenly found in validation and acceptance.  No matter what I do in life, no matter what decision I make, I will always be able to find someone to accept me and validate what I do.

And here is the difference with God.  God accepts us no matter what.  Black, yellow, purple, or white.  Gay, straight, bi-sexual, whatever.  Drunk, drug addict, loser, thief, pastor, president, anything.  God accepts us no matter who we are or what we’ve done or what we are doing.  However, God does not always validate us, rather God does not always validate our actions.  That’s the difference between acceptance and validation, acceptance is more about who you are and validation is more about what you’ve done.  You ARE a child of God; you have ACTED in some sinful ways.

2 Samuel 14:22 says, “Joab fell to the ground before the king and blessed him and said, “At least I know that I have gained your approval, for you have granted me this request.”

What prayers has God answered for you?  Not just recently but at anytime in your life.  What have you asked Him for that He has given you?  It could even be the life you have right now, the breath you are breathing.  Not one breath is guaranteed; therefore every breath we have is a gift from God.

Following the logic in 2 Samuel 14.  If God grants just one request we make of Him, if He gives us just one thing in our entire lives, then He accepts us.  I won’t say this changes things in my life, I won’t make this blog too dramatic; But that does give me a little bit of hope, it makes me happy to realize and to see another way I can know that I am accepted by God.  I don’t have to earn His acceptance; He’s already given it to me.

 

In closing and in the words of Ringo Star,

“Peace and Love, Peace and Love.”