What prayer has shown me.

It seems a little humiliating to be admitting this. I rarely pray. Well, I rarely prayED.
I mean sure, I would pray when things got bad. It's pretty easy to pray and speak with God when times were tough. Usually I would feel better about situations after I got done spending time in prayer. My mood and emotions didn't change for the better because the prayer wasn’t necessarily answered as much as my state of mind was transformed as a result of spending time in the Spirit.

See, it made sense to pray when things got rough. When I felt backed into a corner the only way out of the situation seemed to be to pray, and to turn to God, which was true. Look at Old Testament examples. God’s people got away from relationship with Him, things got bad, they turned back to God and things got better. It's not rocket science.

In those times of trouble, my mindset was that God didn't have a clue as to what was going on in my life, that I was the one that had to inform Him of what I needed. It made sense to pray, it just didn't make sense to try and make God my prayer vending machine. Times were hard and I prayed expecting an immediate answer. If the candy bar didn't fall down the machine and into my hand I would kick the machine, expecting my answer would come after I tried to beat it up a little. It was a pretty stupid way to approach prayer and conversation with God.

I've written about it before, but a few weeks ago I started something called Community Bible Group at a local cafe. Starting the group was pretty exciting at first.
I had been meeting with my pastor about starting CBG for awhile before I finally made the decision to form the group. When we first made the decision everything was exciting. I wasn't necessarily thinking about the spiritual responsibility involved in leading the people as much as I was thinking about the change that would be brought to peoples’ lives as a result of the close community. I didn't really think about how the community would be developed.

About one month before CBG met I began feeling pretty nervous about the whole thing.
My pastor had given me this book titled "Spiritual Leadership" by J. Oswald Sanders.
Reading this book did a number on my heart. I would read the pages of this book and be brought to tears, I felt God in those tears. The book talked about men and women not making themselves leaders, but allowing God to choose them as leaders.

Reading this book brought a fear in me that is still lingering, "what if I'm not good enough?" I have this self understanding: what I bring to the group will either bring life or death and that really scared me.

I was so scared in fact that I began praying. I began praying for wisdom, wisdom to lead His people well. I was reminded of Solomon and His first prayers as king. Solomon didn't ask for wealth, he didn't ask for influence, for long life, or any other selfish request. Solomon asked for Wisdom to lead God’s people.

CBG has been meeting for a few weeks now. Since then I've kept a list of the people that are part of our group along with family members, the city I live in, CBG, my church, a specific old friend, and finally myself. Everyday, I take that list and I pray over the specific people and places on that list. There isn't necessarily a method to my madness. I simply pray. Sometimes, when I feel led, I pray in the Spirit and I am then led into praying specifically in certain areas for that person’s life.

While praying over that list, I begin feeling lighter. For example, the other day was a really bad day for me for various reasons. I began my prayer by quoting the Lord’s Prayer and then I stood up and walked around praying over that list. I didn't address the issues I was having, I just prayed over that list. My issues shrunk, they seemed to melt away and my mood completely changed.

When we enter into the power and the presence of the Lord in those situations, the Spirit inside overtakes our emotions and our feelings and light invades the inner turmoil and darkness, bringing peace.

What I've learned about the power of prayer is that unselfish prayers, based out of love and genuine compassion for what you're praying for, brings answers to prayers you haven't even prayed. The other day I wasn't praying for better circumstances in my life, I was praying for change and healing in the people on my list. One of the results of my prayers for those people was that my issues were taken care of.

How have you been praying lately? Have you noticed that your prayers are mostly self centered? Are you looking to God to answer your prayers like some vending machine?
How could your prayer life increase to be more outwardly focused?

- Cheers.