Psalm 65:3

"Iniquities and much varied guilt prevail against me; [yet] as for our transgressions, You forgive and purge them away [make atonement for them and cover them out of Your sight]!" (Psalm 65:3 AMP)

I love this verse. There is nothing more freeing to me than the wonderful grace of God and that He chooses to forgive us of all of our sins when we repent and turn towards Him.

I read this verse on April 5th of this year as a part of my daily Bible reading and journaling. That morning I wrote this in my journal, "What an awesome verse for me today! All morning I've been feeling guilty and ashamed for my stupid past. This verse came at the best possible time. I need to always remember these words when the devil begins reminding me of my failures and tries to drag me down into shame and suffering."

I went through a rough time in life where I was beating myself up for every wrong and foolish thing I'd done. I spent days depressed and broken, scrutinizing every detail of my life and how I should've done things differently. I spent nights alone on my floor crying for no apparent reason. All I could muster to say was, "I'm sorry."

Through those nights I began to encounter Jesus on a real level. I would feel Him in my room and I could hear Him tell me "It's okay. I forgive you and I love you." Those days and nights changed my life and I thank God I came out having dealt with my past and allowing God to forget it for me.

Though sadly, I realize that the majority of Christians don't have the same experience as I did. They go through the guilt, shame, and depression but they don't always come out of those lonely nights feeling set free. Instead, they emerge feeling worse than before and questioning their motives throughout life. What's worse is that sometimes, those people are our leaders within the church. Heck, on some level, it's you and I.

You are where you are because of the decisions you've made up to this point in life. Your perception of life, the world, God, and who you are is based on your past experiences and decisions. How you handled getting over your mistakes and failures, your wounds and hurts, and your lost or broken relationships, changes your perception of who you are today.

Maybe as a child your father was very demanding. Perhaps he expected perfection and anything less made him become angry and bitter towards you. As you grew older you internalized those demands from your father and today anything less than perfection leads into self hatred and depression. You feel great about yourself so long as things are going perfect but when one little thing doesn't turn out how you expected you begin to get angry. You sit inside your home for days, you take on a negative identity and tell your self how much of a failure you are and how life isn't going anywhere.

Obviously that isn't true and it's not from God. God doesn't talk like that to His sons and daughters. What happens is when we fail or when we make mistakes, the enemy comes into our lives and tries to drag us down farther. He begins throwing shame and self-hatred in our direction and reminds us of other times we failed in life. Most people will receive that shame and self-hatred and allow it to drag them down further into despair. Then they live their lives and interact with others based out of that despair and self-hatred and then inflict those feelings on the people they encounter.

Instead, we should turn to Jesus, take on verses like Psalms 65:3 and believe God loves us and that He forgives our sins and failures and forgets they ever existed. When we accept that as truth we live our lives based out of continual love for God, love for ourselves, and love for others. We become inspired people that see the best in ourselves and the world around us.

How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a failure, as a screw-up? Or do you see yourself as a child of God that has made mistakes but moves forward?