Fear

I have been getting more and more anxious over small things in my life for the last few weeks and I could not figure out why.  I would find myself getting angry and depressed over the smallest things and I could not figure out why.  I just figured I was growing and more responsibility was falling on my shoulders which caused the anxiety.  It was not until Wednesday when I listened to a podcast from bill Johnson that I realized fear has gripped my life.
In areas where I am a leader, I have been getting more and more frustrated with people.  I have been trying to demand perfection and when I don't get it, I feel disrespected, upset, hurt, and offended.  I realized that this fear has been hindering my growth and the growth of those around me.  It's as if I have said, "God can only move and only work in our service if everything runs perfectly, the holy spirit will only release freedom if everyone shows up on time and prepared".  How crazy is that!  Look at the majority of lives in the church today, God showed up and changed us personally at our most chaotic times, not when everything was perfect and in order.  God is the order, He is the perfection.  

I will let go of my pride, of my arrogance, of my judgements against others.  I will begin to live my life full of grace, love, and acceptance for myself.  When I can accept and love myself I can accept and love others.  If I demand perfection from myself I will try to demand it from those around me.
It's amazing how little things in life Consume me.  Little obstacles that, taken out of perspective drag me down and beat me up.  I have been making a mountain out of a mole hill.  Not anymore.  I will no longer Submit to the control of fear.

Lord, thank You for freedom that You extend to me.  Thank You for showing me how to let go, for showing me how to accept and love myself just as You love and accept me.  I pray You would reveal all the areas in my life that I have allowed fear to control and give me the strength to eradicate it from my life. 

Psalm 23:4. Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.